Holla Season Ain’t Over, Yet

The weather is slowly starting to get cooler, which means that Fall has finally arrived to take over the hot, humid Summer (or Holla Season, as I like to call it). Summertime in Spanish Harlem (where I reside) means bursts of bright colors everywhere, people hanging out in the streets, Latin beats blasting from every store, ladies in more revealing clothes to stay cool. And along with the spaghetti strap tanks and short skirts are the guys who holla at every passing girl. It’s a cultural norm to be holla’d at in this part of town; I’ve certainly gotten used to it. And in all honesty, if I don’t elicit at least one comment during the course of a day, I wonder if I just look like ass that day ;)

But just when I thought the weather is turning cooler for good, we get a week of heat that reaches near the 80s. Guess Holla Season is not quite done with. Which reminded me of something I’ve been wanting to do for a while–make a compilation of the funniest hollas I’ve received. Usually, it’s just a “damn girl!” or “how you doin’”, but the following definitely stand out in my memory bank:

Location: Spanish Harlem
HUGE latino man walking his dog: “Daaammn, you Chinese mami?”
Me: (laughing) “Yea.”
Huge latino man: “I ain’t never seen a Chinese mami this tall!”
Me: (still laughing) “Well now you have!”

Location: Spanish Harlem
This young fella followed me home on a bike. A little creepy, but still funny.
Dude: “How you doin’ miss? What you up to on a Saturday evening?”
Me: “Nothing much. Going home to do some work.”
Dude: “Oh, what sort of work you doing?”
Me: “I’m painting.”
Dude: “Well, can I come up and help?”
Me: (laughing) “Good night” (closes front door on him)

Location: 125th st., Harlem
As I walked by this man, I hear: “Mmmmmm. . . . China muffin.”

Location: Spanish Harlem
Guy 1: “Hey mami, ‘ni hao ma?’ “
Guy 2: “She ain’t Chinese, she Korean. ‘An-yong ha-se-yo?’ “
*who knew guys around here are so multi-lingual?!

Location: Park Slope, Brooklyn
Me walking up one side of the street, man walking down the opposite side, screaming:
“Damn baby girl! What does a brotha have to do to get a woman like you? I’ll give you all my MONEY, my CAR, my jewelry, anything I have you can have!“

That’s about all I can think of at the moment. Will be sure to update if I remember any more or hear any good, new hollas ;)